


Chasing Embers

by bootlegtruth



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Band Fic, Cheating, Kinda Fucked Up Bobby, Light Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22710265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootlegtruth/pseuds/bootlegtruth
Summary: In which the worst kind of quiet is the known, hanging presence of lies, and Hanbin was left to burn through it.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 22
Kudos: 88





	Chasing Embers

**Author's Note:**

> Happy actual Valentine's Day!

Bobby was singing. 

It was the first time in years that Hanbin had heard his voice like this. Rough and raw. Kind of like his persona. 

There was a reason he decided against leaving early despite being bombarded by texts from Donghyuk. This was it. 

He closes his eyes as he listens to the voice of someone so far away. So out of reach. The breath in his lungs getting all tied up in a bunch with every melody, every hymn. He has come to like the sound of him more than his guitar. 

He opens his eyes when it was done. Catching a glimpse of Bobby staring at him. He freezes, not wanting to break the contact but Bobby changes direction. 

Hanbin smiles to himself. 

  
///////

  
"I've been up all night. Please give me a break." He rubs off the sleep in his eyes as Donghyuk continues to torment him. 

"I told you to go home early but you didn't listen." 

"Yeah but if I went home early, I would've missed Bobby singing." He reasons, getting up from his bed. 

Donghyuk's eyes widen, "He did?" And Hanbin nods, smiling at the memory. It felt like a dream. 

"He has such a unique voice. It was soft but rough at the same time. I can't explain it." 

"Okay, but enough of Bobby. Take a shower. We're late for school!" Hanbin pouts but Donghyuk sends him a stern look and that gets him moving. 

When they part to go to their respective classes, he changes route to go towards the locker room. He just needs to sneak in a letter to Bobby and then he'll leave. 

Well, someone needs to say how much his voice sounds like it's part of the seven wonders. 

He fishes for the letter in his bag, releasing a deep breath before pressing it lightly to his lips. Bobby should read it. He has to. He never received anything back but it's understandable since he doesn't even sign them. Bobby doesn't know they're from him. He doesn't need to. 

Hanbin slids it inside Bobby's locker and hopes for the best. He's written everything he loves about him. How his voice soothed him, lying a little when he said he was feeling down that time. He wasn't, but Bobby would believe it more if he was. 

"Oh." Bobby was there, leaning on the wall by the door, arms crossed. 

Hanbin feels a blush creeping on his face and as if struck by lightning, he hurries to get past him but the guy catches his arm.

 _Fuck_. He's holding him. Bobby's holding him. His big hand on his arms closing in a grip. Fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen. 

"So, it was you." Bobby's voice was deep and low, like he was still keeping it a secret. It was different from last night. He was full of emotions then. Now he's just staring at him blankly. 

"It wasn't me. I was doing it for a friend." He tries to save face but Bobby narrows his eyes at him, tilting his head as if calling his bluff. 

"You kiss a letter from your friend?" 

Hanbin doesn't know how to answer that. He just blinks at him, unable to speak and move. Bobby was talking to him. They were finally talking, except this was way worse than he imagined. 

"I have a girlfriend." Hanbin blinks at him once more, curious as to where he's going with this. "But if you keep on sending me letters, at least sign them. I don't even know your name." And with that, Bobby left. 

Hanbin stares at the door, dumbfounded. Forgetting about the first statement, a smile creeps on his face. Bobby wants to know his name. 

  
///////

  
Bobby wasn't singing this time. He figures it would only happen once because their vocalist turned sick but now that Junhoe's fine, Bobby's back in his place on the right side of the stage, fumbling with his guitar. He was lucky to witness what happened last night though. He couldn't be any more grateful. 

He wrote another letter for him. The last one ever too because he was embarrassed to keep doing them now that he had gotten caught. This time, he signed it. _From: Kim Hanbin_. A non-cheesy one telling him to continue pursuing his dreams, whatever those are. 

Bobby was an enigma. He doesn't actually know anything personal about him besides his given name. Kim Jiwon. But nobody uses it so why would he? 

Because he was too scared to ask, he'd rather guess. Bobby looks good in purple, that must be his favorite color. He's seen him one time eating pizza after a gig, must be his favorite food. There's this hoodie he wears every sound check, maybe his favorite article of clothing? Hanbin was content with just guessing. He knows he would never be close to Bobby as much as the others. Or just like his band mates in particular. Bobby wasn't exactly Mr. Congeniality. 

Donghyuk leaves him alone to get some drinks. Hanbin's waiting for the band to start playing. This is his routine every Friday night. Bobby's band Roses for Rose was always the opening act. It just so happens that he studies in the same university as Bobby and that's why he always gets a free pass via the university ID. They perform in a pub co-owned by their director. That was neat. 

"Never missed a gig?" Hanbin looks at the boy who sat beside him by the counter. Dressed in a fitted gray shirt, his long black hair pushed back, almost reaching his broad shoulders. Whatever would he give to just run his fingers through the soft-looking locks. Even just once. He thinks that would be enough to keep him at least sane. 

"Yeah, I like your band." Hanbin's thankful he didn't stutter. Bobby was staring at him like he's trying to figure out what kind of person he is. If someone asks, the answer is obsessed. He's obsessed. At the man in front of him, at his voice, at his band, at everything about him that he wasn't aware of. 

"Thanks for signing your last letter, Kim Hanbin." 

He's obsessed at the way his name rolled off Bobby's tongue too. Like it belongs there forever, made to be spoken by just him. He's never heard of anything better. 

Before he could embarrass himself, Bobby turns away from him to leave. And up the stage he goes, where he seems impossibly distant. Someday, he'll stretch out his arms and reach him. Someday, he'll be enough.

  
///////

  
Hanbin refuses to breathe. His mind was filled with _inhale, inhale, inhale_ and no one was telling him to let go. _Breathe, breathe, breathe, or at least try._

Everything about him. About Bobby. It was a conjured dream messing up with his reality. A fantasy coming true in real life. 

He runs his fingers through his hair, not only once. He can do it again, and so he did. As Bobby litters kisses on his neck, his hand grips on his hair like a lifeline. He closes his eyes and wonders how the hell did he end up like this?

Bobby's tongue travels down his collarbone, sucking at it, but never to the point of leaving marks, biting at it, but never to the point of breaking skin. Hanbin moans before him, immediately clamping his other hand on his mouth, mortified at himself for reacting shamefully. 

He does it again when Bobby rubs his crotch on his thigh, pistoning his hips. His voice breaks. _Inhale, inhale, inhale._ "You have a girlfriend." He whispers, more to his conscience than to Bobby himself. Whoever hears him first. 

"That didn't stop you from sending me love letters now did it?" Bobby raises his head to face him, eyes heavy with desire, lips swollen from all the sucking, his hips still moving to get him worked up. 

Hanbin wants to protest. Tell him those weren't exactly love letters but merely confessions of admiration. But Bobby presses his forehead on his, meeting his eyes and catching his lips in a languid kiss, his hot tongue spreading the burn from his lower lip and when he opens his mouth and lets him in, it lingered. Flame after flame. Like hell on Earth, with Bobby's tongue as the devil and him as the meek sinner. Bobby tastes like sin.

Bobby pulls away, agonizingly slow. Hanbin thinks he wants it to last longer. That it was never Bobby's intention to break apart. He wishes he was kissed for an eternity. He wouldn't dare ask for anything more. 

"Do you want this?" Bobby's voice was rough and shallow, like a puddle of water after the rain that he jumps over to avoid getting soaked. But this time he risks it. Bobby kisses the tip of his nose. 

"Do you?" He hopes it was audible enough, or sensible enough. That Bobby was paying attention to notice the tremble in his voice. Of want and need, of anxiousness and excitement, of blatant disregard from his morality because of a single bite of a lip. 

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" 

"I want to kiss you." Hanbin wastes no time. He pulls Bobby again for a searing kiss. And even if he gets caught, entangled into a maze without a map or an idea how to get out, he doesn't care. Bobby moans into his mouth. 

There's no escape. 

  
///////

  
Hanbin doesn't tell anyone. He knows he's not allowed to. He'll take what he could get. 

He never saw Bobby around the university after that. He can't wait for another Friday night to come. 

Bobby's staring at him. In the sea of audience, he only has his eyes on him. Hanbin smiles at the thought. He doesn't miss the way the side of Bobby's lips lift before looking away. That was a first. Hanbin hopes he'll be the reason for the second, and the third. And all the many smiles Bobby has to offer. 

"Fuck." He's inside his car. Everything around him smells like Bobby. Everything around him feels like the sun, burning and bright. He couldn't think straight. All he's aware of was Bobby's big hand on his back, tracing his spine, urging him to take him deeper. 

Hanbin complies, breathing through his nose as he relaxes his throat and let Bobby fuck his mouth. His hand immediately grips on his shaft when he gags, shaking his head. "It's fine, baby. I won't do it again." Hanbin circles his tongue on the tip, licking the slit while he strokes him tight and fast, numb fingers and numb lips on hot flesh. He's determined to make him come. 

He stares into Bobby's eyes as he goes down, tightening his mouth around his cock, bobbing his head and never breaking eye contact. _Look at me._ The sound of Bobby when he came was something he never thought he would get to hear. He lets him thrust into his mouth slowly, emptying down his throat. He swallows and he regrets, closing his eyes as he rests his cheek on Bobby's thigh. 

"I want to touch you." Bobby taps his face lightly, to make sure he hasn't fallen asleep yet. Hanbin doesn't like the sound of that. 

He knows once he feels Bobby's warm hands on him he wouldn't be able to stop. If that was the case then he shouldn't have agreed to start this in the first place. He needs something to keep him balanced. But Bobby pulls him up and makes him straddle on his lap, his hands gripping on his hips like a vice. Suddenly, there's no reason why this was a bad idea. 

"What? Are you going to jerk me off?" Hanbin lets out an awkward laugh, avoiding the intensity of Bobby's gaze. 

"I was hoping maybe I could finger you till you come." And the next moment before he could protest, Bobby was unbuttoning his jeans, his half-hard cock springing free from his boxers and when Bobby pumps it twice, he thought he would combust. 

He loses a sense of reality when Bobby teases on his entrance. He doesn't know where he got the lube or if there was any lube. It was wet. It could be spit. God, he thought that would be hot. 

"Hmmm." He covers his mouth when a finger intrudes, Bobby catches his hand and removes it away from his lips. 

"Let me hear you." 

Bobby curls his finger, in search of the spot he knows full well would make Hanbin scream. 

" _Ah_." Hanbin stares at him in shock when he finds it, pressing firmly, trying to add another finger. "What—ah—fuck." Hanbin leans down to hide his face on Bobby's neck, muffling his moans as he continues to fuck him with his fingers, fast and precise. His cock untouched and leaking and so, so hard. 

"Good?" Bobby whispers in his ear, pressing a kiss on the side of his head. 

"Yes." Hanbin cries, trying to move his hips back so that Bobby would fuck him again. Three fingers in and he still feels empty. He gasps when another one was added, sobbing when Bobby finds that delicious spot again. 

"Fuck yourself with my fingers, baby, take what you need." 

Hanbin was gone. He doesn't need to be brought back. He breathes as he does what Bobby told him. Inhaling Bobby's scent, exhaling his own. Every breath he lets out was a cry for help. And every breath he lets in was the answer. _Bobby, Bobby, Bobby._

He comes on his stomach, head dizzy with guilt. As Bobby removes his fingers one by one, wiping them on his pants, he has never felt so exposed. 

Hanbin tries to focus on the stillness of Bobby's breathing. There was a soft kiss planted on his forehead. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his nose on Bobby's chest. 

This will linger.

  
///////

  
Donghyuk looks at him, scandalized. He covers his mouth with his hand in shock and Hanbin laughs. "Who gave those to you?" He points at the trail of hickeys on his chest. They were actually concealed with make-up but it's no use through the eyes of his friend. Or maybe he just sucked at putting on concealer. 

"Just someone." He answers coyly, thinking about the memory of Bobby's lips branding him. 

"Boyfriend?" 

"Absolutely not." And never will be. He was reminded of the situation he so clearly avoids again. 

Donghyuk shrugs, "Well, if you're really free. Go on a double date with me and Yunhyeong this Friday, then we'll go to the pub. I got you the date already." 

Hanbin squints at his friend, contemplating. "I don't know about that." 

"Please? Come on. It's been years since we went on a double date. It'll be fun." 

Hanbin doesn't find it in himself to agree but he does so for the sake of his friend. Just like the old times. 

The guy Donghyuk set him up with was actually fun to be with. The flow of their conversation went smoothly with Jaehwan not letting it die that easily. He's prepared so many topics to talk to and Hanbin was thankful for that. He was relieved. 

They took their dates to the pub when the night comes and Hanbin's ease was replaced by anxiety. He's going to see _him_ again. 

Bobby's eyes dart towards him the minute he sat on his usual spot where he could see him clearly. He gives him a warm smile but was given aversion in return. Bobby never looked at him through the rest of their set. 

"Why are you so down? Do you want to go home?" Jaehwan whispers at him through the noise, his tone full of worry and Hanbin smiles at him timidly, shaking his head. 

"I'm fine." On the dancefloor, he catches Bobby talking with a girl, smiling as he jokingly messes up her hair by patting the top of her head. The girl punches him in the chest lightly and Bobby laughs. 

"I'll be in the restroom. Feel free to text me if you guys want to dip. I'll be fine to take a cab." He tells Donghyuk before standing up and heading straight to where he was supposed to go. 

Bobby was following him closely, closing the door with a loud thud and locking it as he traps him by the wall. 

Bobby's kisses were invasive this time. Wild and violent, far from the delicate stroke of his tongue he was becoming addicted to. Hanbin holds onto his shoulders though, savouring every clash of teeth and every taste of copper Bobby could give. 

"Turn around." Bobby orders and he complies, palms pressed on the cold comfort room tiles. His heart beating loudly from the anticipation of what Bobby would do to him. He feels his hand sneak on the front of his jeans, unbuttoning it and unzipping his fly, letting it fall down on his thighs along with his boxers. Bobby presses a thumb on his entrance, Hanbin covers his mouth out of habit. 

He can feel his hands pulling his cheeks apart, a blush painting his body as Bobby dips his tongue on his rim, hard, harsh, sloppy. Hanbin wishes he could get a better grip. He whines at the thought of Bobby kneeling for him, worshipping his ass and there was no time to feel embarrassed. Not when he was making unholy slurping sounds that was causing his mind to go haywire. 

Bobby kisses his cheek, biting at it lightly and humming when Hanbin whimpers. His lips travel upwards, tracing his spine, leaving marks as he reaches his shoulder blades. "Bet he can't do that to you, hmm? Bet no one can." Bobby whispers. 

Hanbin has absolutely no idea what Bobby was talking about. He lets go of his sensibility the minute he was rimmed. Now all he could think of was Bobby inside of him. 

Bobby prepares him thoroughly. He could feel his cock ghosting over his ass and he wants to just get this over with. Bobby tears open a packet of condom and rolls it on him, lining himself in his entrance until he was fully sheathed. 

_Fuck_. Hanbin thought. This was a mistake. But that was lost in the myriad of thoughts his brain could make, buried deep down until it won't ever resurface when Bobby thrusts into him. 

"Baby, you take me so well." Hanbin doesn't hear that. He's too immersed in his own pleasure. Bummed that he can't touch himself because Bobby's weight was trapping him and all he could do was rub his cock on the wall. 

He meets him with every thrusts, fucking back on the man behind him and they both groan. _So close_. 

Bobby tilts his head and captures his lips, way better than what he did a while ago, gentle but fierce, and so, torturously slow. In contrast with how he was fucking him, hips snapping along with the rhythm they created inside their heads. Bobby was gone too. 

Hanbin pants as he paints the wall with his come, his kisses on Bobby's mouth slacking and Bobby bites on his shoulder when he does, groaning in his ear with one final kiss.

The silence that filled them were those in between labored breaths and regrets. 

The worst kind of quiet is the known, hanging presence of lies. It's when you acknowledge a secret that shouldn't be kept and yet you don't open your mouth to tell. 

They need to stop doing this.

  
///////

  
Hanbin looks back at where he came from. Content at admiring Bobby from afar. He thought it was because of his undying love for Roses for Rose's music just like any other fan. But he never really cared for the band like how he cared for Bobby. 

He craved his attention, and when he finally got it, he tumbles down until he's broken. He never should've indulged him. 

He's wearing one of Bobby's clothes when he goes to watch the band that Friday. Nobody probably knows it's his but Hanbin can smell him through the fabric. He doesn't need to flaunt. 

Bobby steals the mic from Junhoe, looking at him and Hanbin smiles, wondering if Bobby's going to sing again. 

"I wrote this song for someone I've been thinking about lately." His eyes never leave his direction. "The inspiration to all the songs I've ever written." Hanbin furrows his brows in confusion. "My girlfriend, Rose. She just got back." Bobby waves briefly at him and that's when Hanbin realizes it wasn't him he was staring at. 

He turns to his back to find a girl in a red dress, with golden skin and plump lips, with almond eyes and bright smile, waving back at her boyfriend shyly.

Hanbin reminds her of himself. Except Bobby wasn't his. And now that she's back, he'll never be his, not even temporarily. 

  
///////

  
It's been a few weeks since Hanbin avoided seeing Bobby and the band. The routine change every Friday was hard but he managed. It was for the best, after all. 

Hanbin was cleaning his locker when a note fell down. The words were scrawled and messy but he tries to read as much as what he can understand. It was only three words.

_'I miss you. -B'_

Hanbin turns around to find Bobby leaning by the door. Exactly like how he was when he was caught trying to sneak in his letter in his locker. 

He noticed he cut his hair. Must be his girlfriend's influence. 

Bobby takes a step towards him and Hanbin takes one back, sauntering closely until he was pressed on the lockers. He tries pushing him away but to no avail. Bobby was strong. And Hanbin weak. 

He kisses him like he meant it. Like there was no woman waiting for him and Hanbin returns it with equal fervor, adding a little bit of hope that Bobby was finally free. 

"Do you really want to stop doing this?" Bobby asks, planting a kiss on every part of his face and Hanbin shakes his head. No. He wants him.

Bobby wants him too. 

"Rose is gone again. Please don't leave me too." Bobby's lips were like lit matches spreading fire into every corner of his body. 

He's set aflame as he nods. He's worth turning into ashes after this. Bobby was consuming him. 

He wasn't put out though.

Instead he was left to burn.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm here sometimes: [@bootleglies](https://mobile.twitter.com/bootleglies)


End file.
